A Family For Qui-Gon
by DebC75
Summary: Qui-Gon Jinn is haunted by images he cannot understand
1. Part 1

Part 1

The Jedi master rested upon the bed in his private quarters of the Jedi Temple at Coruscant. His gaze was fixed upon an indeterminate spot on the ceiling above him. His mind had begun to wander again--drifting off to another place, nearly a year earlier... He saw before him a beautiful, strong woman: the mother of a remarkable boy. She smiled at him and his spirit soared as he followed the  
woman into a modest home. A modest feast was spread out upon the table and mother, son, and guest sat down to eat...

The vision continued and as it did, the Jedi was unaware that another of his order had entered the room and was now watching him closely and with great concern. Instead, the man on the bed was aware only of the scenes in his mind. The sandy-haired boy had finished eating his supper and scurried from the table to prepare for sleep. As he left, he paused to hug both his mother and their guest, throwing his arms around one and then the other in childish joy... Now he was alone with the beautiful woman. She also rose from the table and began to clear away the crockery, taking it to the sink. The Jedi followed her with his  
eye, watching her every graceful move with anticipation. When she passed by him again, he caught her arm and pulled her into his embrace...

From the doorway, the other Jedi cleared his throat for a third time, louder this time. The sound jolted the figure on the bed from his deep thoughts.

"Obi-Wan..." he said in a soft, whispering voice. "What brings you here?" he asked, pulling himself to a sitting position on the bed.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Master Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan replied, "but Master Yoda has asked me to stop in and see how you are doing today."

"So formal, my friend," Qui-Gon commented. "Please, sit." he waved his hand in the direction of a nearby chair. Obi-Wan sat obediently. After close to a year of being a master himself and having his own padawan to train, the younger Jedi still deferred to his teacher. If it weren't for the seriousness of Obi-Wan's demeanor, it would have been amusing. "Something troubles you, Obi-Wan. Will you tell me what that is?"

Obi-Wan hesitated, as if trying to frame his next words carefully. "I don't understand, Master... why are you still so ill? Your wounds have healed, but still you seem to suffer from some malady. Has... has the Force left you,  
Master?"

The concern in Obi-Wan's was voice was heart-warming, but his words were very disturbing. In Qui-Gon's mind, he relived the moment where his Sith opponent struck him down. Again he felt his aging body tire under the stress of combat, seeming to weaken as his much younger adversary seemed to grow in strength. Then came the blow which should have killed him. Somehow, however, it did not.  
As Obi-Wan fought their dark enemy, Qui-Gon felt the Force flowing through him. But he was weakening, as well, and he felt the power of the Force struggling to turn aside his body's desire for release. Then Obi-Wan was kneeling beside him.

Qui-Gon shook the painful memory from his head. "No, Obi-Wan, the Force has not left me, but I am very, very tired."

"Why?" asked Obi-Wan, the admission stunning him. He'd never known his Master to be this way.

Qui-Gon sighed. "I... I was saved from death, Obi-Wan. My body wanted to die; I was so tired and sore that death would have been a joy. And yet, it wasn't to be... it was as if the Force wanted me to live, and so I lingered on in agonizing pain until healers could be sent to tend my wounds."  
He paused, his eyes glazed with remembrance. "You say that my wounds healed, Obi-Wan, but know that not all wounds heal so quickly. My body healed, but my soul is old and tired and its wounds take much longer to heal."

"You're not old," insisted Obi-Wan. "How can you say such things?" When Qui-Gon did not answer save to heave a deeper sigh, Obi-Wan sighed in resignation. He knew there was little use in arguing with Qui-Gon. "Master Yoda bade me to tell you... he wishes to see you immediately," he told Qui-Gon at last.

A chuckle escaped Qui-Gon's lips, surprising his former student. "I knew there was more to this visit than you let on." He rose from the bed and stepped behind a dressing curtain. 

As his master began pulling on his robes, Obi-Wan turned to leave. When he reached the door, he heard Qui-Gon say, "Tell me of your padawan. Tell me of Anakin."


	2. Part 2

Part 2

As Qui-Gon approached the Council Chamber, he pondered all that Obi-Wan had said. Anakin was well, but was not excelling in his Jedi training. Obi-Wan believed that it was his own fault, because he did not really feel like a Master Jedi. Qui-Gon admitted to his former padawan that he had been just as nervous when he had been given his first apprentice. "You will make a fine master, Obi-Wan. You must not worry about that," he had said, but now Qui-Gon's thoughts turned to young Anakin. There must have been a reason for Anakin's troubles...  
something that went beyond anything Obi-Wan had voiced.

At the doors to the Council Chamber, Qui-Gon found himself ushered inside by a page. Yoda sat in his place. He watched Qui-Gon carefully as he entered the chamber. "Late you are," he said as Qui-Gon sat before him on the floor.

"I know, Master Yoda. Obi-Wan and I were... catching up. I have missed his company," he said. "Please forgive me the indiscretion."

"Hmmm..." Yoda nodded. "Forgiven you are. Understandable it is. Well are you now?" Yoda studied Qui-Gon closely. "Well you seem."

In truth, since Obi-Wan's visit, Qui-Gon had begun to feel like his old self again. It made him feel even better, in fact, when he looked at Yoda and said, "Yes, Master Yoda, I am well." But even as he said the words, his mind flashed on something Obi-Wan had said. "Obi-Wan asked me if the Force had left me," he told Yoda.

"This some have said. Not true it is," the ancient Jedi master studied the man before him, reaching out to find what the Force would show him. "Hmmmm..." he said. "Young he is; needs you he does." 

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon was puzzled. Then his eyes met Yoda's and an understanding passed between them. "Anakin."

"Yes, the padawan I mean, not the teacher. Much fear in him there is. Know you do the cause."

Qui-Gon thought hard, his brows wrinkling enough to hide his deep blue eyes. In his mind he saw the woman from his recent dreams. "Anakin misses his mother, and he is worried about her life on Tatooine."

"Hmmmm..." Yoda nodded. "Worries about you also he does."

That was it, Qui-Gon realized. That was the reason Obi-Wan was struggling to train the boy. Both of them were too worried for his health to concentrate. "Then why have I not been allowed to see him? It would have eased his fears and... and my own."

"This I know, but one I am among many. Forbade it, the Council did, to protect you both," was Yoda's explanation.

It wasn't explanation enough. "Protect us from what? From each other?" Qui-Gon's voice rose, but then he calmed himself. "Forgive me, Master Yoda. I forget myself and my training. I am sorry."

Nodding in forgiveness, Yoda continued, "See him now you must. A mission you have been given. Go soon you shall."

"A mission? How soon?" Qui-Gon could not deny that he was now feeling better than he had in months. Whether it was Obi-Wan's visit or being outside his room for the first time in what seemed like ages he did not know, but he certainly felt stronger and more alive than he had since his fight with the Sith. But was he ready for travel so soon?

"In two weeks you shall go. Prepare you must. Say good-bye you should."

Master Yoda was right. He needed to see Anakin before he left. It would give them both peace of mind. "What is my assignment, Master Yoda?" he asked.

"Learn you shall in time," came the reply. It was not what Qui-Gon wanted to hear, but it would have to do.

After leaving the Jedi Council Chamber, Qui-Gon left the Jedi Temple and made his way through the streets of Coruscant to a local tavern. It was nearly empty when he entered, the owner wiping down the bar with a rag. She smiled at him when he entered, causing Qui-Gon to remember her as a young woman. Rhianne had been a ravishing beauty, and was still an attractive woman. He remembered  
his surprise when Branon Dol told him that they were to wed. He knew that his friend cared for the young woman, but marriage for a Jedi.... well, it was a  
difficult decision.

"Qui-Gon Jinn! Is that really you?" Rhianne asked. "I'd heard you were dead." In another corner of the room, Rhianne's daughter, Kalara paused from the table she was cleaning to stare at the Jedi in equal interest.

Qui-Gon chuckled. How did these rumors get started? "I was very ill," he told Rhianne. "But I am better now." He walked over to the bar. Leaning against the polished wooden counter, he looked around him and said, "You know, I never knew it to be so empty in here."

Rhianne shook her head, causing her long braids of silvering auburn hair to sway behind her back. "It's this younger generation, Qui-Gon. Long gone are the days where people come to a tavern like mine for a good meal. They'd rather go down the street to see girls Kalara's age dancing on tables." Then she smiled. "All  
except your young Obi-Wan. He always comes here."

"Obi-Wan hasn't been in here in close to a year, Mother," Kalara spoke out. "I thought it because he was finishing his Jedi training."

"Obi-Wan is a master now," Qui-Gon told them. "He has his own padawan to train. It keeps him busy."

Rhianne tilted her head to one side. "I thought you said he wasn't ready for any of that?" she asked, recalling a conversation they'd had nearly two months prior to the assignment which had nearly cost Qui-Gon his life.

Chuckling, Qui-Gon admitted, "I didn't think he was, but now I know that he is."

They talked for a while longer while Qui-Gon ordered one of Rhianne's delicious home-cooked meals. He returned to the Jedi Temple just as it was nearing to dusk. There was much on his mind that night, and he felt that a night of contemplation would hold the answers he sought.

********

Sleep would not come. Qui-Gon had spent the remainder of the night in meditation, willing his mind focus upon all that was troubling him. He sought to look past these things and find peace within the Force. He thought he'd achieved that peace, but as soon as his head touched the pillow, the visions began again.

They weren't complete visions, but came as waking dreams--broken images and scenes of himself, Anakin and Shmi. These dreams were actually very pleasant in nature, but were confusing to him, as he knew not what was causing them. They came to him when he was alone, filling him with a sense of comfort that he had not needed since he was a young padawan. This confused him all the more. Qui-  
Gon did not understand his sudden craving for the security blanket the visions had given to him.

And then there was Shmi...

The scenes in his head were so familiar to Qui-Gon by now, that he was hard-pressed to remember when they first began. Was it after his brush with death, or before that? What bothered him more, however, was not this lack of clarity, but the content of these scenes. He knew they were not real. He had only known Shmi Skywalker for a short time, and in that time, he had never once behaved towards her as he did in the visions. He recalled the few moments they had together with bittersweet fondness. Shmi was a wonderful woman, kind and caring--willing to give up her one and only joy to see her son have a better life. He remembered touching her shoulder compassionately, wishing he could do something to ease the  
pain he knew she felt. But that's all it as--compassion. Qui-Gon was certain of it. The thrill he felt when he made that brief contact with her had nothing to do with desire, as these visions suggested. All he felt for her was compassion and sympathy... wasn't it? As another vision of Shmi arose in his mind, he found himself no longer sure of anything...


	3. Part 3

Part 3

It was mid-day when Qui-Gon found Obi-Wan and his padawan in one of the Jedi Temple's many libraries. Obi-wan was telling Anakin the history of the Jedi Order. 

"Has he asked all of the ridiculous questions you asked when I told you that story?" he inquired from an archway behind them. The two others turned to find him leaning into the stone, a bemused expression on his face.

"Not yet," Obi-Wan retorted with a mock-pout as his padawan ignored propriety and rushed to Qui-Gon's side, throwing his arms around him in a joyous hug.

The hug surprised the Jedi Master, and this surprise must have shown on his face, as Anakin pulled away from him suddenly, worry clouding his young face.

"Have I hurt you, Master Qui-Gon?" he asked innocently.

Qui-Gon reached out, ruffling the boy's short-cut hair. Anakin had grow in the past year, and Qui-Gon thought he could already see a glimmer of the man he would become. "No, Anakin," he said with a warm smile. "You have not hurt me." Anakin beamed up at him, his child's smiling warming Qui-Gon's heart.

The smile was short-lived however, as the boy suddenly frowned. "They told me I couldn't see you because it might make you sicker," he said.

By "they" he meant the Jedi Council, of course. Qui-Gon sighed, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. "The Council did what they thought was best, Ani," he told the boy. "We should not fault them for meaning well."

Obi-Wan cleared his throat, hoping to dispel the awkward silence which no hung in the air between them. "Anakin and I were about to take our lunch, Master,' he said. "Would you see fit to join us?" when Qui-Gon nodded, Obi-Wan smiled. "Anakin, will you go now and see to it that food is brought for Master Qui-Gon as well?"

"Yes, Master." Anakin scurried off, stopping only to look back at the older Jedi before leaving the library. 

When the boy left, Obi-Wan turned to his former master. "You know," he began. "I half expected to see you around dinner time yesterday... but you never came."

"After I left Master Yoda, I had a lot of thinking to do," the master said.

"So where'd you go?"

"To visit some old friends of ours... mine and yours," Qui-Gon answered with a smile. "Kalara asked about you."

At the mention of the young woman, Obi-Wan smiled, looking much like a love-sick school boy. "And how was... Mistress Rhianne?" he asked.

Inwardly, Qui-Gon chuckled at Obi-Wan's evasion. Would the boy ever admit his feelings for Rhianne's daughter, even to himself? "Doing well," he replied. "We talked for a while... about old times... about things to come." Qui-Gon's voice was far away as he spoke.

Obi-Wan nodded, but did not speak. Master Qui-Gon missed his friend. It was rumored among the padawans that Qui-Gon Jinn and Branon Dol were the greatest rascals, tormenting their masters and creating mischief wherever they went. Obi-wan knew his master had taken it hard when Branon died some three years ago.

After a moment of silence, Qui-Gon turned on his heel, indicating that they should hasten to meet up with Anakin. Obi-Wan followed him, walking slightly behind his former master out of habit. As they walked, they passed many others on their way to take their noon meal.

"Tell me," Qui-Gon asked, "how is it that you are not taking your meals in the dining hall?"

Obi-Wan sighed. "It's Anakin," he admitted. "He doesn't like the dining hall much. He says he feels as if people are staring at him."

Qui-Gon nodded slowly. "I imagine that they are. Anakin is very special, Obi-Wan. Surely, everyone who sees him can feel that, just as I do. "

"I know, I feel it too. Sometimes... " Obi-Wan looked uneasy. "Sometimes I feel as if I cannot possible be the one to train him."

"Who then?"

"You... you were the one who discovered him and believed in him. He trusts you, Master Qui-Gon."

"No, Obi-Wan, I think you are wrong... or perhaps just speaking from  
your own self-doubt. You will make a fine a master for Anakin. And besides, the Council gave him to you, not to me," said Qui-Gon.

"Only because you were so ill. Now--"

Qui-Gon cut him of with a wave of his hand. "My wounds have healed, but Obi-Wan there are still things I must face... things I cannot face with a padawan in tow. No... the Council was wise to give Anakin to you rather than waiting for me to be ready for him." Shaking his head, he turned his gaze towards the door where they both knew Anakin was waiting for them. "Shall we?" he asked. Obi-Wan  
followed him into his quarters.

*********

Qui-Gon chuckled heartily, as did Obi-Wan. They had been regaling Anakin with tales of their more memorable adventures. Anakin listened eagerly, but with never more than a shy smile on his face. Qui-Gon wondered at this, and when Anakin left to clear away the dirty dishes, he inquired about the boy's reticence.

"He been this way since the Council gave him to me," Obi-Wan in formed him. "He's a fine boy and an apt pupil, but he is very withdrawn. As I said, I am unsure of how I can help him."

"Has he no friends to confide in, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked, wondering what had happened to the vibrant boy he'd met on Tatooine over a year ago.

Again, Obi-Wan sighed sadly. "None. Anakin is intimidated by the padawans his own age, because they are more advanced in their training."

Again, Qui-Gon could not believe what he was hearing. The boy he knew as Anakin Skywalker had never been shy around anyone. He'd had plenty of friends on Tatooine and was hardly one to be intimidated. There he'd been a confident boy, despite even his position as a lowly slave. This change in Anakin scared him. He  
wondered if perhaps Anakin would open up to him where he might not with Obi-Wan.

"Have you plans for Anakin this afternoon Obi-Wan?" he asked.

"Well, I had planned to work with him on--" Obi-Wan stopped short. "It matters not, Master. Did you have something in mind?"

Nodding, Qui-Gon asked if Anakin might spend the rest of the day with him. Before Obi-Wan could answer, Anakin returned. Obi-Wan instead turned to his padawan. "Anakin, how you would feel if we did not train this afternoon?"

"Is something wrong, Master?" the boy asked, looking from his master to Qui-Gon in confusion.

It was Qui-Gon who answered him. "Nothing is wrong, Anakin. I was merely hoping that you and I might spend the day together. It would please me if you would."

"Can I, Master Obi-Wan?" the boy asked, his face lighting up in hope.

"I see no reason why not," came Obi-Wan's reply.


	4. Part 4

Part 4

Qui-Gon took Anakin to one of the many terraces surrounding the Jedi Temple. It was mildly crowded, and Qui-Gon was greatly aware of the questioning eyes which followed them as they made their way to a low stone bench in one secluded corner of the terrace. Anakin clutched at his hand, gripping it tightly. "Are you all right, Ani?" he asked the boy in a low voice.

Anakin nodded. "They always stare at me," he said quietly. "I don't like it, Master Qui-Gon," he admitted. 

Qui-Gon chuckled. "I imagine they are staring at me as well you, Ani," he said. "After all, it was but only yesterday that I left my room for the first time since my injury. As for you..." he laughed again, a mild amused laugh. "Here we are together.., the Jedi Master who fought off death itself and the boy he was willing defy the Council to train. We make quite a pair, you and I."

"I guess so," Anakin said, a smile starting to warm his own small face. "It's very pretty here," he said, looking around the terrace. It was a park of sorts, graced with statues and small water fountains, and in the center was a flourishing botanical garden. Many different plants were blooming there and it was, indeed, a lovely sight to behold. They both fell silent as Anakin continued to explore with his eyes.

Finally he turned to Qui-Gon, a questioning look on his face. "Qui-Gon?" he asked hesitantly. "Will Master Obi-Wan and I ever be as close as he is with you? Will we ever be friends?"

It was an innocent, youthful question, but one full of doubt and sorrow. Qui-Gon smiled sadly, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. How the child reminded of Obi-Wan when he was young--so impatient, wishing things to happen quickly rather than letting them take their course. Of course, Obi-Wan would deny ever having been that way, even if it was still one of his weak points. This brought a  
happier smile to Qui-Gon's face, and he chuckled softly.

To Anakin he said, "Obi-Wan and I were not always such close friends. There have been times when we could hardly get along with one another, especially in the beginning of his training. It took time for us to become accustomed to one another."

"As it will for he and I?" Anakin added thoughtfully. Qui-Gon nodded. "But it has been a year since he began to train me. Shouldn't we--?"

His question was cut off by Qui-Gon's soft laugh."Yes," he mused aloud. "You are very much like Obi-Wan, Ani. So impatient." He took Anakin by the shoulders, turning him so that he faced out over the wall behind them. "Tell me what you see below us, Ani," he said, a memory stirring in his brain.

Anakin looked. "A fountain," he replied hesitantly, not sure where Qui-Gon was going with this.

"It's the biggest fountain in this complex," Qui-Gon told him, the smile on his face growing bigger with the memory that particular fountain evoked. "It's large enough for grown adults to swim in."

Anakin's eyes widened. "Really?" he asked. "How do you know?"

"Once, when Obi-Wan was slightly older than you are now, our relationship was not so friendly. There were many tensions between us, and neither of seemed to know how to come to terms with them. He was quickly to that age when a boy believes he knows than his master, and I was struggling to dissuade him of this without killing him outright." This Qui-Gon said with a wry grin. "One night, I was awakened from sleep by the Force and immediately knew something was amiss. Obi-Wan was not in his bed, and I became angry with him for being gone. I searched for him, and eventually found him-- swimming in the fountain below." Again, Qui-Gon chuckled, recalling the frozen- deer look on his young padawan's face when he realized he'd been caught.

"Did you punish him, Master Qui-Gon?" Anakin asked.

"No.. I did not," admitted the master.

"You didn't!?"

"He did not," reiterated a voice from behind them. They both turned and found Mace Windu behind them. "As I heard it," Mace continued, "Qui-Gon here stripped down to his under clothes and joined your master in the fountain." Anakin looked from Mace to Qui- Gon to the fountain and back to Qui-Gon in silent, questioning awe.

"It's true, Ani," Qui-Gon admitted sheepishly. "When I found Obi- Wan there, I was reminded of myself at his age, and I knew I couldn't punish him for something I would have done had that fountain not been constructed years after I finished my training." he grinned at the boy. "That night helped to break down the barriers and strengthen the bond between us."

Mace just laughed. "And got you both in trouble with the Council, as I recall."

"True, our indiscretion did not go unnoticed *or* unpunished, Ani," Qui-Gon told the child. What both he and Mace failed to mention, however, was that the Council had been behind it all-- using the Force to give Obi-Wan the idea of a midnight swim *and* to wake Qui-Gon up, knowing he would discover his padawan. Had they known what Qui-Gon would do upon finding his student, however, they  
may not have done so, despite the results.

Qui-Gon and Mace watched Anakin as he explored the garden. Shortly after Mace's-arrival, Anakin excused himself, allowing the two masters to talk.

"So... how'd you find us?" Qui-Gon asked.

"It wasn't hard; everyone was talking about it. Seeing a dead man walking around in broad daylight tends turn heads."

Qui-Gon groaned. "First I've lost the ability to use the Force and now I'm dead."

Mace chuckled. "Oh, you've heard that one, too, eh?"

"Obi-Wan brought it up yesterday. He should have known it wasn't true, Mace, but he still had to ask."

"We've all been wondering why you've been so ill. The healers could tell us nothing except to say that you'd recover in your own time. No one knew how to take that," said Mace.

"Vague... "Qui-Gon said, shaking his head. "I can imagine how that would upset some people." He looked back at Anakin, who was now gazing over the wall, staring at the people on the streets below. "I can't tell you much more than that, I'm afraid," he informed Mace. "I was ill, and now I am not. I wish I could tell you that I have fully recovered, but that I do not know, either. All I know is that I can no longer bear to be alone." He stood, as if to join  
Anakin by the wall. Mace grabbed his arm urgently.

"What do you mean by that--cannot bear to be alone?" he asked.

Qui-Gon sighed. "I can't explain it, Mace. I don't understand what's been happening to me."

Nodding, Mace said, "I don't expect you to, but the least you can do is clarify what you are saying. Try and make me know what you know... as little as that may be." 

Qui-Gon shook his head, as if to focus his thoughts. "When I am alone, I feel... unsafe. That's the only way I can understand it. I find myself needing comforting, needing to feel loved." he fell silent now, thinking of his visions of Shmi Skywalker. He was not ready to share those visions with anyone else, let alone a member of the Council.

"Such emotions are new to you?" Mace asked.

"Yes, they are new feelings. I cannot rid myself of them."

Mace studied Qui-Gon thoughtfully. After a fashion, he rose from the bench where he was sitting and pronounced, "Perhaps you are trying too hard to be rid of them. You should be seeking to understand what is causing those feelings." With that, he excused himself.

Qui-Gon chuckled to himself as he watched Mace leave. Understanding those feelings was not going to be easy. Pushing these thoughts from his mind, he approached Anakin. They continued to talk for a while--Qui-Gon asking the boy to tell him what he thought of his new home.


	5. Part 5

Part 5

The days since Qui-Gon's recovery passed quickly. He spent his mornings in meditation and doing a series of training routines geared to return his body to peak physical condition. Not that he'd necessarily deteriorated in the past year, but he still felt the need for it... and it helped to keep his mind busy. He met with Obi-Wan and Anakin for the noon meal, which they'd finally managed to convince Anakin to take in the dining hall. The first time they walked into the enormous mess hall, it feel dead silent. Qui-Gon thought the poor child would turn and run out, but surprisingly, he didn't. Instead, the three of them  
made their way to an empty table in the back and sat down with their food. Eventually, the crowded room returned to its regular din. Life went on, but  
Qui-Gon knew that for both himself and Anakin something significant had happened. 

They had officially rejoined the human race.

His evenings, however, continued to bring the strange, confusing visions. At first, Qui-Gon believed them to be manifestations of his injuries and the insecurity he'd felt after he'd initially been healed. That appeared not to be  
the case... and that had him all the more confused. Why did the visions persist even after the rest of his life had begun to return to normal? What did they mean? The more he meditated on it, the more unsettling it became. He felt it unlikely that he would ever understand them, as Mace had suggested.

And how could he understand them? These visions--these tormentingly wonderful images of Shmi and himself--were unlike anything he had experienced before in his life. They were impassioned and highly self-indulgent. Qui-Gon had never been so self- absorbed in his entire life. Why should he start now?

Because you should, a voice in his mind told him. It was a young, hearty voice--the words spoken in a pleading tone. Hearing it echoing through his memory, Qui-Gon found himself lost in moments long past.

***his memory***

"Why do you ask this of me?" a much-younger Qui-Gon Jinn asked his friend. "Why must I do this? You know I don't agree with this maddening decision."

"Because you should," Branon Dol told him with conviction. "Qui-- you're my best friend. If you don't stand up with me now... I don't know what I'll do."

"Bran, you and Rhianne mean the world to me. You're my closest friends, but I don't understand this. And yet.. " he paused in his protest. "What did Master Yoda say when you spoke to him?" he asked, sincerely hoping Yoda would steer Branon away from this selfish course of action. In Qui-Gon's mind, a Jedi's duty was to the Force and to their Order. He was fully prepared to give up all worldly experiences for a life of serving others in the name of justice. Until now, he'd believed this to be the only way... the only path a Jedi could take. Branon's desire to marry Rhianne seemed like just that--desire, a thing he  
should be trying to avoid rather than embrace.

Branon Dol sighed heavily. "You really are making this difficult, Qui. All you have to do is say yes or no. Will you or will you not stand up with me tomorrow when I wed Rhianne?"

"What did Yoda say, Bran?" Qui-Gon insisted. "Please... I need to know you are doing the right thing." 

"Others have married, Qui! I won't be the first!" Bran exclaimed in exasperation, but then met the eyes of his friend and read accurately the worried confusion there. "Master Yoda me to follow my heart. He said that the  
Force was leading me, and only in my heart would I know my true path."

"And this is what you believe the Force is leading you to do?" asked his friend, his eyes down cast.

"Yes, Qui..." Branon reached out, placing his hand on Qui-Gon's shoulder. His voice was soft. "I know it's not the life you see for yourself, Qui, but I'm not you. All I am asking is that you don't turn away from me because of this."

Qui-Gon raised his head. He nodded slowly. "Yes... you know I'll do it, Bran." Then, suddenly his face split into a wry grin. "Only on one condition."

"What's that?" Branon's face had taken on a similar expression. Usually, when Qui got that look on his face, he was up to some trouble.

"That if the day ever comes when I marry, you'll stand up with me." When Branon chuckled, Qui-Gon added a more emphatic "If...mind you. I doubt it shall ever come to that."

"Know we do not what the future will hold," Branon said in imitation of Master Yoda, causing them both to laugh.

"Yes, Master!" was Qui-Gon's sarcastic reply.

***end memory***

Yes, Master, Qui-Gon could still hear himself saying as the memory faded. He missed Branon more and more, especially since returning from Naboo. But why that memory? Why now-- the day before he was being sent out on his first mission since his brush with death? What did it all mean?


	6. Part 6

Part 6

Qui-Gon was summoned to the Council Chamber in the gray of the morning. He was greeted by Masters Yoda and Mace Windu. Both wore somber expressions. Why the rest of the Jedi Council was not present, Qui-Gon did not know. He actually had seen very little of Council members aside from Mace and Yoda in the last two  
weeks. It was as if Mace and Yoda had taken responsibility for Qui- Gon's transition back into life at the Temple and none of the others were allowed to go near him. It was truly an odd thing.

Qui-Gon was floored when they told him he was going to Naboo.

"For... for what?" he asked, an image of his Sith adversary rising in his mind unbidden.

Yoda and Mace exchanged glances and nodded in silent agreement.

"Troubles you still it does," Yoda commented.

"Yes, Master," came Qui-Gon's humble reply.

"Know then you should why you need to go to Naboo. Face it you must."

Qui-Gon looked from Yoda to Mace. "I must face my fears," he echoed. "Is this why you kept my mission from me?" he asked.

"Partially, but that's not the full reason for the secrecy," Mace told him.

"And will you be telling me this secret?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Learn it you will when you reach your destination," said Yoda. The look on his face told Qui-Gon not to press for more information. Instead, he inquired why the rest of Council was not present for this meeting. In his eyes, they should have been there.

"Hmmmm..." Yoda hummed sadly, shaking his head.

It was Mace who spoke. "This is difficult to say, Qui-Gon," he began, "but you deserve to know the truth."

"Which is, Mace?"

"There are those in the Council who doubt your ability to complete this task. Some do not feel you are ready for any responsibilities; others still doubt your abilities within the Force. Right now, you have very few champions on the Council."

"And they are still allowing me to do go on this mission?" Qui- Gon asked.

Mace chuckled wryly. "The only thing we all agreed upon was that you had to face your fears, and the best way to do that is to send you back to their origin."

"It would be the perfect test of my recovery," Qui-Gon commented, trying to think like a member of the Council. 

"Exactly," replied Mace.

********

Later that day, Qui-Gon found himself in a transport headed for Naboo. Upon entering the transport, the pilot handed him a package, saying "Master Yoda instructs that you open this only after you receive your final orders." Qui-Gon took the package and sat staring at it for several hours, fingers itching to open it. Finally he set it aside, and went into the cockpit of the transport.

Standing behind the pilot, he gazed out at the deep space which they now sped through. Stars twinkled, pulsing around the ship. They seemed to be waving him on, urging him closer to his destination. Naboo...

Although Qui-Gon remained stoic as he watched the stars from the ship, inwardly he felt nothing but dread. Each second took him closer to Naboo... closer to the origin of his troubles. His mind began replaying the past, causing him to see relive the events which first brought him to Naboo. Again he met Jar Jar for the first time, and again, he raced against time to meet up with a child queen. Then  
his memories shifted and he found himself facing the Sith menace. Obi-Wan was trapped beyond the energy field, unable to aid him. Then came the blow...

Without warning, Qui-Gon turned and strode back into his small quarters. Sitting upon the sleep bench, he buried his face in his hands as the painful past assaulted him. After several seconds, he controlled himself enough to meditate, hoping to bring himself peace. Instantaneously, his mind conjured up an image of Shmi Skywalker. This time, Qui-Gon did not fight the vision--it was this or reliving the hellish duel. Forcing the evil red-and-black faced, horned specter from his mind, he reached out for Shmi and allowed himself to be gathered into her comforting arms.

He was sleeping peacefully within the dream when the pilot came to inform him that they had received a transmission from Naboo.

*********

When Qui-Gon stepped out of the transport and descended the ramp, he was greeted by a small welcoming committee consisting of members of Queen Amidala's royal council and one lone handmaiden. The young girl said nothing, standing to one side as the queen's councilors flocked to Qui-Gon's side. Then, after the much  
older men had dispensed of their ceremonious task, she stepped forward. In a clear voice, she spoke, commanding the Jedi's attention.

"Master Jinn, " she said. "Her royal highness, Queen Amidala, has asked me to see you to your rooms. If you will follow me, please."

Qui-Gon complied, but not before he had caught the twinkle in the young woman's eyes and the familiar tone of her voice. They walked to the suite set aside for him in silence, but as soon as the door closed behind them, Qui-Gon's face split into a grin.

"What a pleasure to see you again... Padme," he said, referring to Amidala as the handmaiden she had impersonated for most of their previous adventure together.

Amidala smiled at him. "When I heard it was you that the Jedi Council had sent, I had to see you." 

"You could easily have come as yourself, you know," replied Qui- Gon.

"I know... but I would hardly have been able to speak to you alone had I met you as the queen," she told him. "And I wanted to speak privately with you."

"Oh?" Qui-Gon's eyebrow quirked upwards.

"I wanted to ask you... " the young queen's cheeks flushed with a slight blush. "I wish you to..."

"You desire news of Anakin?" Qui-Gon supplied for her. She nodded, and Qui-Gon found himself telling her all that knew of the boy. Watching her face, he could see that it troubled her when she heard of Ani's sorrows "You care for him, don't you?" he asked gently. 

"Yes, I do. That's.. that's why I asked for the Jedi Council's help, Master Jinn." Amidala paused when she saw that she had his complete attention. "I wish to do something special for Ani. Tell me, what do you suppose is the one thing that would make him truly happy?" 

"His mother's freedom," Qui-Gon answered without much thought. He knew it was what Anakin wished for more than anything else.

Amidala nodded in agreement. "That's why I have arranged to buy her freedom and take her away from that slum." She then began to out- line her plans to Qui-Gon. The Jedi Master found himself admiring the child-queen's thoughtfulness. Giving a young boy his greatest wish was something she truly need not worry about. But then... Ani was special, and not just because of the prophesy. To know him was to love him. He now understood the secrecy of this mission.

"Ani will be pleased to know he has found such a friend," he said, a warm smile on his face.

She returned his smile. "I value his friendship," she told Qui- Gon. "Ani and I are alike in some ways... or at least, he reminds me of myself." Qui-Gon gazed at her in curious confusion, prompting her to explain further. "When we met, I mean. We were both young... children really... being thrust into a world much larger than we could ever imagine... or understand. I had just become queen, and he had hopes of becoming a Jedi. Both are very grand things, Master Jinn, as I am sure you'll agree. We both stepped blindly into our new roles, completely  
unprepared and very much alone. Except for our friendship. I do not wish to lose the connection we have made."

Qui-Gon nodded slightly. "I understand completely," he said. "When you are a Jedi, true friends are hard to come by."

They spoke for a while longer before Amidala took her leave of him. Before the queen left, she informed him that there was to be a formal reception and dinner in honor of his arrival later in the day. Suggesting that he rest and freshen up from his trip, she left. 

After the young queen left, Qui-Gon showered and prepared for sleep. She was right; he needed the rest. His body was sore from fatigue and the confined space within the transport. Going to the bed- -a thankfully huge bed with a soft mattress--he threw himself down and closed his eyes.

Sleep came to the Jedi Master quickly, but it was not very restful. Instead, he was plagued by dreams of his last visit to Naboo. In his dream, he could sense danger everywhere, but did not see it until he came face to face with the evil one. This time, Obi- Wan was not there at all, and Qui-Gon had to face the Sith alone. He awoke drenched in sweat--just before the death blow came. His entire body shook with a fear he could not control.

Mace and Yoda wished him to confront this fear before he left Naboo. This was going to be a long mission...


	7. Part 7

Part 7

The child-queen stared at Qui-Gon in open concern. "Are you well, Master Jinn?" she asked, her voice betraying that she feared he was not. "Are you certain you are prepared to continue this mission?"

Qui-Gon nodded slowly, knowing full well what prompted Amidala's concerns. In the past few weeks, he had not been well-- had not been himself. Or at least, he had not been the Qui-Gon she remembered. He was changed on account of his fears... on account of the nightmares which haunted him. The worst part of it was, it wasn't just the Queen who noticed it. Everyone noticed it, from the council members who kept him company to the lowest servant of the palace. While touring the palace in the company of one council member or another, Qui-Gon  
would suddenly turn pale and stop dead in his tracks. Once, three of Amidala's handmaidens rounded the corner ahead of them, and Qui-Gon started in terror. Several times,he had even pulled his lightsaber on the servants who came to change his bedding and tidy his rooms. In each case, Qui-Gon had not seen these  
people for who they were. In his mind, he was seeing the dark one coming at him, stalking him with his double-edged lightsaber swinging wildly. All the others saw, however, was a man out of control.

To an extent, they were right... but only to an extent. After having recovered from the exhaustion of travel, Qui-Gon found that his nights were filled with nightmares. He could not sleep without seeing them, and meditation seemed not help. In his desperation, Qui- Gon began to wonder if Mace and Yoda had been wrong to send him here. What if he could not overcome his fear? What if his fear overcame him?

Then, one sleepless night, he stole out of his room and began prowling the corridors of the palace. With the palace entombed in shadow, Qui-Gon revisited the places which gave him the most pain. Each time he did so he willed himself to give his fears over to the Force, and with each night-visit, Qui-Gon felt his fear fading. It was not a swift, easy healing process, but as the weeks wore on, he felt the change in himself. He finally felt whole again.

"Yes, my Queen," Qui-Gon replied, turning his attention back to Amidala. He had come to her, requesting permission to begin the next leg of his journey. The pilot of his transport had been notified of his decision and already the tiny craft was being readied for departure. Qui-Gon need only gain the queen's blessing in the matter. "The... illness which plagued me has passed. I am fit for travel and more than willing to begin."

He felt Amidala's gaze searing into him at the mention of an "illness." She studied him closely, as if trying to decide if he was being truthful. "This illness you speak of... it has concerned me greatly these past few weeks. I should like to know the nature of it."

Her voice was gentle, and yet demanding. Qui-Gon glanced around them at the handmaidens. They had been silent thus far, but he knew better than to think they would remain so should he reveal his secret. Were he to speak, rumors--more rumors than already existed-- would begin to fly. It was bad enough that there were plenty of rumors back home, and an equal amount of whisperings here. But  
whisperings were nothing compared to the damage the truth could bring, were it to be distorted by a million gossiping tongues.

"I'd rather not say," he responded at last, his voice strained. "I am well; that alone should be enough for you." As he spoke, he remembered the look on Mace Windu's face when he admitted that the rest of Council doubted Qui-Gon's recovery. The need to prove himself rose up in him, filling his soul. And if that meant not revealing his weaknesses, so be it.

"No, it's not enough. I need to be sure that you are capable of completing this mission." 

Her eyes were filled with concern for him, but Qui-Gon saw only doubt and it angered him. "What you *need* to know is what I tell you, young lady," Qui-Gon responded, implying that the queen was too young to make the decisions placed before her.

The tone in his voice--one which Amidala had not heard since their first trek into Mos Espa when he believed her to be an interfering servant--shocked her, inflaming her to indignance. "You dare to speak to me that way?" Her voice rose imperiously. "You may be an authority on Coruscant, Master Jinn, but here I am sole ruler. I forbid you to leave here until you tell me what I must know."

Qui-Gon stared at her for several seconds in disbelief. How are this... this *child* dictate his life? He glared at her darkly before turning on his heel and striding away... 

********

Moments after leaving the queen's chamber, Qui-Gon stalked into his rooms, using the Force to throw the door open and slap it shut behind him. The sound of it echoed down the hall. As the echo faded away, Qui-Gon felt his anger fading as well. In its place, he felt only weakness and exhaustion. He had been trying so hard to convince himself that he was fine. All he wanted to do was forget it  
all... forget the Sith, forget the pain and the humiliation, forget the concern secretive glances which followed him. Perhaps in forgetting, he could make  
others forget it. Then his life could truly return to normal...

He sighed, remembering his behavior in the queen's presence. It was unspeakable. He'd let his emotions get the better of him... let his pride get the better of him. It was a fault he could not afford to indulge in, he realized with much sorrow. Meditation... that was what he needed--a few hours of peace and contemplation within the flow of the Force.

Qui-Gon was just sitting down to meditate when he heard a soft rapping on his door. "Come in," he said from his position on the floor. A lone handmaiden entered hesitantly and found him seated in a lotus position in the middle of the room. She crossed the room, kneeling before him. Qui-Gon studied the handmaiden carefully... and knew her true identity within seconds of making eye contact.

"Forgive me, highness," he said in a low voice. "I was rude, as I should have not have been."

Amidala shook her head sadly. "I could have been more discreet. Something has troubled you since you first arrived here, and I should have known you might not wish to discuss it openly. Still..." she looked at him with kindness in her young eyes. "I wish you would share those troubles with me."

Still, Qui-Gon hesitated. He did not know if he could reveal his problems to her.

"Please, Qui-Gon," she pleaded with him. "You need not bear these things alone. If there is anything I can do for you--either in my capacity as Queen or as a mere friend--let me do so."

Qui-Gon closed his eyes, reaching out to the Force for guidance. In his mind, he saw the young queen befriending a frightened boy who had just left the only life he'd ever known an uncertain future. Then he saw her, here in this very room, pouring out her heart to him, revealing depths of kindness. It couldn't hurt, he realized. "I'm sorry, Amidala. I have tried to keep it to myself, but I find I  
cannot. I have been... very ill... for a very long time. I have had... nightmares, and coming here has made them worse." As he said the words, he  
saw her alarm grow. Placing a hand on her arm, he assured her, "they are gone now."

"Tell me... " Amidala asked... "what were they about, these nightmares?"

"They were about my death," Qui-Gon replied and began to tell her about them.


	8. Part 8

Part 8

Mos Espa, indeed all of Tatooine, was just as Qui-Gon recalled it. Hot, dry days and colds nights, all adding to the "charm" of the squalid little place where he'd first discovered Anakin Skywalker and his mother. Shmi...

When Queen Amidala had finally allowed him to leave Naboo, he'd remembered about the mysterious package Master Yoda had left for him. It was a data pad, and written upon it were these simple words-- trust in your heart you must; lead you it will to the right path. For the remainder of his brief trip from Naboo to Tatooine, Qui-Gon had sat on his bed, holding the data pad in his large hands and staring at it in utter silence. He couldn't quite comprehend what Master Yoda was trying to tell him.

At the same time, his fantasies of Shmi had returned. At night, as he lie on the small, narrow bed fighting for sleep to come, he dreamt of her. In his dreams, he left the transport and went straight to her hovel. They stood in her doorway facing one another expectantly. Then he told her that he had come for her and was going to take her away from this life. When she heard the words, Shmi stepped backwards into her home, and Qui-Gon followed her. Once inside, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her into a near-crushing embrace. His lips found hers, claiming them for his own... and she surrendered to his touch, allowing him to ravish her lovely body. And he did...

Qui-Gon pushed these thoughts from his mind as he stood in the center of the town. He had better things to do than stand there fantasizing about Shmi Skywalker. He needed to find her owner and gain her freedom. And knowing Watto as he thought he did, this would not be an easy task. 

********

"Hmmm... you again?" The blue, fly-like Toydarian asked when Qui- Gon walked into the salvaging shop. "Brought the boy back, have you? He was always more trouble than he was worth."

"I have not brought Anakin back here," Qui-Gon said. "I bring you a business proposition, my friend. One that could prove to make you very wealthy."

Watto perked up at the mention of wealth, but instantly his eyes narrowed. "What sort of business?" he asked. 

"I am here representing a very wealthy person--the leader of small nation. My employer wishes to purchase a slave," Qui-Gon explained, keeping his true mission as secretive as possible. He hoped Watto would take the money without question and let him leave with Shmi.

"Hmmm...? I have many slaves. Perhaps you'd like to inspect them?" Money glittered in his eyes as he spoke the words.

Qui-Gon nodded. "That would please me greatly," he said. "My employer would be displeased if I returned with less than a perfect specimen." Inwardly, Qui-Gon wanted throttle the buzzing blue fly. He'd been wanting to it so for a year now, but held the emotion in check even now.

"Come back tomorrow at this time," demanded Watto. "and bring the money you speak of, so that I know you are not trying to fool me with some Jedi trickery. NO CREDITS." 

"No credits," Qui-Gon echoed, nodding. He left the shop quickly, wishing to rid himself of Watto's stench. 

*********

The Jedi gritted his teeth in at attempt to keep from losing control and killing his companion. For the past few hours, Watto had led a parade of slaves, male and female, past him. Each one was forced to strip to his or her undergarments so that Qui-Gon could inspect them for any flaws or deformities. For Qui-Gon, it was maddening. He searched each face--hoping one of them would be Shmi-- but by the time the last slave appeared before him, she had not appeared.

"Need more time to decide?" Watto asked him when he showed no interest in any of the slaves he had been shown.

Qui-Gon nodded hesitantly, trying to phrase his next words diplomatically. "There was another slave... one I saw when I was here last year. The woman, Anakin's mother." 

"Not for sale," Watto said curtly.

"Every slave is for sale, my friend," Qui-Gon told him. "Especially if the price is high enough."

Watto's eyes turned to the "wealth" Qui-Gon had brought back with him. It was an amazing sum, none of it credits, and definitely more than any one slave was worth. But if the Jedi who'd taken the Skywalker boy away from him and made him look a fool in front of the Hutt wanted Shmi Skywalker, it wasn't enough.

"Not for that piddling price."

It was exactly what Qui-Gon had been expecting, which was exactly why he had left half of his bargaining pieces back on board the transport. He nodded, leveling his full gaze at Watto. "There is more where that came from... much, much more." He stretched out each word, watching for Watto's reaction. "Think on it. I will return in the morning... for the woman... or for the money, if she is not for sale." He turned on his heel and strode away.

After a few steps, Watto called after him. "No need to take back the money." Qui-Gon stopped, turning back. "There are other slaves, after all."

"No. There is only Shmi."


	9. Part 9

Part 9

His words had the desired effect on Watto. The next day, Qui-Gon returned to the salvage shop with the rest of the money and was informed by a somewhat disgruntled Watto that Shmi was back at her hovel, packing her few belongs. This was exactly where he found her. 

Qui-Gon's breath caught in his throat when she opened the door to his knock. Shmi Skywalker was exactly as he remembered her from the year before, except maybe a little more care-worn. Her lovely eyes regarded him for several moments, recognition dawning in them.

"Shmi..." he said hesitantly, a kindly smile warming his face.

"Master Jinn," she replied, her voice catching in her throat. "Please... please come inside." She stepped back, allowing him access to her home. It was a wreck, as she had been busy packing her few belongings. As the door closed behind them, hundreds of hurried questions flew from Shmi's mouth, all of them boiling down to one common theme--how was Anakin? She only stopped babbling when Qui-  
Gon began to chuckle softly. "I'm sorry," she said at last. "You have come all this way and here I am babbling on..." she paused, casting her eyes upon the disheveled room in which they stood. "I regret that I cannot offer you more hospitality, Master Jinn, but my master as sold me and my new owner will be coming soon to take me away."

As she spoke, Qui-Gon could see tears forming in her eyes. Watto had not told her, he realized, who had bought her. He wouldn't have, the miserable fly. "Shmi..." he said gently, reaching out to smooth the tears from her cheeks. "There is no new owner."

"What?" she asked at his softly spoken words. Their eyes met, and Qui-Gon could see that she wanted to--needed to--believe his words, but could not wrap her mind around them.

"There *is* no new owner," he repeated. "I have bought your freedom, Shmi."

"My freedom?" she echoed, looking at him in disbelief. She stepped back, sinking into a chair beside the table. Qui-Gon knelt before her, taking her hands in his own. 

"Yes. Your freedom. Never again shall anyone own you or dictate your life." In gentle tones, he told her of Queen Amidala and the secret plan to reunite Anakin with his mother.

"The girl... the girl who was here... she is a queen?" Shmi asked, still unable to understand it all. When Qui-Gon nodded, she shook her head. "Why would she wish to give me my freedom? I am but a slave."

"Amidala remembers fondly your hospitality to us, Shmi," he said. "And also... she remembers your son fondly, as seeks to make him happy." He paused, smiling warmly at her. 

"Amidala has a very generous heart."

The two of them remained this way--Qui-Gon kneeling before her, caressing her small hands with is large ones--for several minutes. A comfortable silence fell between them, and remain unbroken until Shmi spoke again. "Does Anakin know?" she asked.

Qui-Gon shook his head. "The Queen wished it to remain a secret. I did not even know until after I left Coruscant."

"Tell me about my son?" she asked. Qui-Gon complied, and as they spoke, he aided her in bring the house to order.

********

Later in the evening, Qui-Gon found himself caught up in a reenactment of his fantasies as he and Shmi sat down to what would be her last meal in her modest home. The only thing missing, of course, was Anakin. They ate mostly in silence, making some small talk, but each of them seemed lost in their own thoughts. Then, Shmi broke the silence, asking him for the first time of himself. "You've  
spoke much of Anakin, Master Qui-Gon," she said, "but nothing of yourself."

"I did not think you would be interested," Qui-Gon replied, raising his eyes from his food to meet her own. Was it his imagination or did a spark fly from her eyes to his? When she told him that she would indeed be interested  
in hearing more, he began to tell her about all that had happened since he'd left with her son nearly a year ago. He told her about the battle on Naboo and how he almost died. What he did not--could not-- tell her, however, was about his dreams... the fantasies he'd been having of her. As he spoke, Shmi reached out,  
placing a small hand over his large one. The action was both comforting to Qui-Gon and exhilarating at the same time, and he felt the sudden urge to take her in his arms. 

"I'm so sorry," Shmi said as his tale ended. "It sounds like a painful experience..." her voice trailed away as her eyes dropped to their clasped hands. Suddenly, she jerked away from him and rose from the table. "I--I should  
clean up now," she said nervously. "There's so much left to do." With that, Shmi hurriedly gathered the dinner dishes and rushed them to the sink.

Qui-Gon watched her go, confused emotions raging through his body. Something had passed between them, he felt it in his soul. But what did it mean? Again, he heard Yoda's words in his mind, telling him to follow his instincts. His nstincts were telling him to go to this woman, take her in his arms, and kiss her like he'd never kissed a woman before. Was this truly what the Force was leading him to? Could he trust his emotions? The sudden turmoil he felt was compounded by Shmi's own actions. He now found himself wondering if she had  
thought of him? Did she desire him as much as he did her? Would she welcome his attentions, were he to give them?

It was these questions Qui-Gon was struggling with when Shmi passed by the table, stopping to clear away some crockery. As she moved to leave, he stopped her with his hand. "Shmi... " he began, but was unable to say more, his voice failing him as he looked into her eyes. When their eyes met, however, a wave of raw emotion flowed between them. "Shmi..." he began again, pulling her towards him. But as her lips neared his, Shmi pulled out of his grasp and again hurried to the small kitchen area. This time, Qui-Gon followed her.

Standing behind her as she placed the dirty crocks into the sink, Qui-Gon could feel the emotions swirling tumultuously around them both. "Shmi..." he said again, and as she turned to face him, he could see the mutual longing in her eyes. Taking two long strides, Qui-Gon closed the gap between them and suddenly found her in his embrace. The kiss was not gentle, as he had envisioned it in his dreams, but a near-frantic meshing of lips and tongue. Just as Qui- Gon pulled her closer, however, Shmi began to push him away. She then turned back  
to the sink, her back making a wall between them. 

"Shmi..."

"Please, Qui-Gon... don't." Her voice was thick with emotion, and Qui-Gon could nearly feel the tears which he knew coursed down her cheeks as she spoke.

"No," he replied. "Shmi, we need to talk about it. There is something happening between us, can you not feel it?"

She did not answer, and her only action was to concentrate harder on the dishes in the sink. When Qui-Gon could stand the silence no longer, he reached out, placing a hand on each of her shoulders. At his touch, her sobs became louder. "You may not want to hear this," he said, "but I need to say it." There was still no response from the woman before him. "You have been on my mind from  
the moment we met last year. I thought, at first, that what drew me to you was Anakin, but now I know that it isn't so. Shmi... I need you." At this, she gave a slight gasp, but still said nothing. He continued to pour his heart out to her. "I need you... need you in my life, by my side... in my bed. Shmi, please don't turn me away."

"How can you say such things? We hardly know one another," she said at last. Her voice was strained from her tears.

"I know only what I feel, and what I feel in my heart is that the Force led me here-- to find you."

"I... I cannot..." Shmi choked out, the words faltering in her throat. "Please...don't ask this me, Qui-Gon...please..."


	10. Part 10

Part 10

Qui-Gon moved about the transport ship in a daze. He had not slept well the night before. Lying on the sleep pallet in what had once been Anakin's bedroom, he had been acutely aware of Shmi's every movement in the night. He heard her go into her bedroom, heard her move about it--perhaps changing into her bed clothes--and heard the heart-wrenching sobs as she cried herself to sleep. And Qui-Gon spent the night feeling guilty for having brought her to tears. He'd been wrong to press the issue... been wrong about the whole thing. The Force had not brought him to Tatooine for Shmi; he'd been sent there only for Anakin. He'd always believed as much...

...so why did he feel so horrible? Why should confirmation of his beliefs make him feel so empty?

It did not make things easier on him that the transport was small and he couldn't move about without constantly being reminded of Shmi's presence. It made things a million times worse. Every time he saw her, he wanted to hold her, to comfort her, to be comforted by her in return. But he knew now that these things could never be; she didn't want them.

Shaking his head, Qui-Gon headed off in the direction of the small cramped quarters he had given over to Shmi for the remainder of the trip. He'd resigned himself to stay in the cockpit with the pilot, but he needed to fetch a few things before the flight got underway. It would be best for both of them, he decided, if he didn't have to return to the bedroom later.  
  
Shmi was seated on the bed when he got there. "I came for a few things, and then I'll be out of your way," he told her in a polite but curt manner. The awkwardness between them was all too evident. Shmi said nothing, but merely nodded her head. Qui-Gon collected a data pad and few other items and turned towards the door. Just then, Shmi cried out, calling his name. He turned towards her expectantly, but when she said nothing, he spun on his heel, moving towards the exit. The door slid open automatically.

"I thought about you, too..."

The whispered words halted the Jedi Master mid-stride. He turned and found himself staring down into her eyes--eyes which raged with the same desire and doubts that he had been feeling. Taking two long strides, he bridged the gap between them. The door behind them slid shut with a relieved sigh.

Qui-Gon knelt before Shmi on the floor, taking her hands in his own. The mere touch sent ripples of energy through his body. Reaching out, he allowed his fingers to sweep through her hair, loosening the binding which held it tight to her head. Her brown tresses swung free, cascading down her back. Qui-Gon's hand caressed the back of her head, massaging hair and scalp in a sensuous manner. Then he pulled her towards him, capturing her mouth in a kiss. The moment  
their lips touched, however, a fire was kindled inside him. He needed her--needed to be inside her. There was no reason for it, no reasoning behind the sudden rush of primal emotion which swept through him.

And yet... something was compelling him to act upon it.

With the large hand still buried in her hair, Qui-Gon dragged her closer to him, pulling her completely off the bed and onto his lap. As his lips found hers in another searing kiss, he began to remove her clothing by way of the Force. As her blouse peeled away from her upper body, Qui-Gon's hands roamed her chest and abdomen. Feverishly he caressed her breasts with his large hands before dropping his head in order to nuzzle between them with his fuzzy, bearded chin. At her  
sighs, he took one nipple in his mouth and began to nurse from her as would a babe. This drew more sighs from Shmi's lips. Another push of the Force and her shirt and the remainder of her under-garments were both a mere memory. He traced the curve of her hips with his time-callused hands, his fingers wandering to the soft, warm valley between her thighs. Then he released the nipple he'd been tormenting with tongue and teeth and spread soft, wet kisses down her stomach,  
past her navel, until his lips met the moist folds of her nether lips. Shmi gasped as he latched onto the outer layer of her womanhood with his mouth,  
suckling her there as he had at her breast. Then his tongue invaded her, drawing a low moan from the depths of her soul.

The sounds of Shmi's desire heated Qui-Gon's blood all the more, causing his own desire to grow to a frenzy within him. With help for the Force, he shed his Jedi vestments in seconds, revealing his naked form to her. Shmi, in turn, reached out to him, drawing him closer until he hovered above her just between her legs. The wild desire in her eyes told him that she wished him to take there, on the floor. When he hesitated, her hands flew to him, caressing their way down  
his muscled chest... down his tight waist... touching at last the swollen length of manhood. There she touched him--stroking and squeezing until he could stand it no more. Pulling her onto him once again, he guided her body until her opening rested just above his hardening shaft. Shmi opened her thighs wider, and wrapping her legs around his waist as they sat there on the floor, she guided him into her. At first, they just sat there, Shmi wiggling slightly to adjust  
to the feel of him inside her. Then Qui-Gon grasped her hips and begun to guide her in an easy, half rocking half sliding motion, moving her up and down on his cock. At the same time, his lips found a spot in the curve of her neck and he began to suckle and nibble at it intently.

As Shmi moved against him, Qui-Gon felt his hunger for her increasing. It was as an aching need in soul and only she could sate it. Unable to stop himself from seeking the fulfillment he was yearned, Qui-Gon's hands gripped her hips and buttocks more tightly, thus increasing the speed of her movements. In response, Shmi found his lips with her own. Their tongues met instantly, darting from mouth to mouth in a primal mating dance. The pounding of Shmi's hips became harder as again and again she impaled herself on him. Sweat coated both of them, making skin slippery. At last, Qui-Gon felt his release coiling inside him, even as he felt Shmi's muscles beginning to tighten around his shaft. Her body slammed yet harder into him as they both raced towards the ultimate pleasure. Then came the sweet release, and Qui-Gon exploded within her. As he did, he felt Shmi's own explosion just before he collapsed, falling backwards until his  
back rested firmly against the side of the bed. Shmi slumped forward, her head coming to rest his sweat-soaked chest.

As the sexual frenzy faded into calm, Qui-Gon cradled Shmi in his arms, neither of them moving. His land lazily stroked her hair. In the silence, he could hear her crying softly into his chest.

"Shmi...?" he whispered, suddenly unsure. Had he hurt her? "Shmi? I'm sorry. I... I thought this was what you wanted. If I have harmed you--"

His apology was cut short by her lips pressing into his flesh, just below the nape of his neck. "I did want it..." she whispered. "Perhaps too much..." her voice faded away as she looked up into azure eyes. "I thought about you, Qui-Gon," she told him.

"So you said."

Shmi shook her head sadly. "Not like I should have. I thought about you more than I did my own son. Each day, I said to myself, 'I wonder what Ani is doing' and no sooner did I think of him than my mind wandered to you. My son--the light of my life--received nothing but a passing thought before I spent the rest of the day fantasizing about the man who took him from me. I felt so... so..." her voice cracked as another sob burst from her chest.

"Guilty?" Qui-Gon supplied for her in a voice husky with emotion. When she nodded, he sighed deeply. "Then I, too, am guilty, darling Shmi, for you are all I have thought about." Qui-Gon found himself telling her about his slow battle with the nightmares which had once haunted him. "In the darkest hours of my sorrow," he told her, "it was you that I clung to... because dreaming of you always chased away the demons and made me feel whole... and loved." As he spoke, he'd been looking anywhere but at her, fearing his words would cause her to turn from him. Now he met her eyes and found only compassion and understanding. "I tried to fight those feelings. I didn't understand them, because I'd never felt that way about anyone before." 

"Neither have I..." came Shmi's whispered response. "I still... still don't understand what it is I am feeling."

"I think I do... now. This thing which binds us to each other... it is greater than both of us." Shmi looked at him in confusion. Again, Qui-Gon sighed. "A very dear friend of mine once told me that for every man and woman alive there is but one soul mate--one person alone whom the Force has chosen to fulfill their lives." Qui-Gon chuckled, recalling the day Branon had said these words. "I didn't believe him at the time. I was young, and did not understand how  
these two people were to find one another in so large a galaxy. Also, I thought my friend was merely trying to justify a course of action I did not particularly approve of."

"And now what do you think of your friend's advice?" asked Shmi as she snuggled into his embrace. her sorrow had faded away and all Qui-Gon could feel was the love which radiated from her.

"That he was wise beyond his years," he murmured as he bent his head to kiss her sweet lips.

When the kiss ended, Shmi cocked her head slightly, gifting him with an amused smile.

"What?" His look was one of pure confusion. 

"Are you aware that we're... ummm... " Shmi cast her eyes about them, indicating that they were still on the floor, with Qui-Gon leaning against the bed for support. "Not that I mind snuggling here with you--it's a dream come true for me--but should someone see us..." Her eyes were sparkling with a mild mirth which Qui-Gon found infectious.

"It would be difficult to explain?" he supplied for her, chuckling softly. "Shall we relocate to the bed?' he inquired. Shmi concurred and they rose from the floor and settled on the bed. 

Qui-Gon leaned back onto the pillow and pulled her to him so that her body half covered his own. As Shmi rested her head on his broad chest, Qui-Gon stroked her hair lovingly. "I, too, have dreamt of this," he said in hushed tones, as if speaking mostly to himself. Shmi responded to his words by kissing his chest, sending a shudder running through him. Then she raised her head to meet his gaze with own. Passion shone in both their eyes.

Just as his lips found hers, however, his comm link began to sound. Swearing lightly, Qui-Gon reached out with the Force and brought the comm link to him. "Jinn," he answered crisply. 

"Your pardon, Master Jinn," came the voice of the transport's pilot. "but you expressed the desire to know when we were nearing Naboo." 

"I did," Qui-Gon replied.

"Well... we *are*, sir, and we've received a transmission from them. I thought you'd wish to know of that, as well."

Qui-Gon cast a longing glance at Shmi. He'd much rather stay in bed with her, but he knew he should go and prepare for their arrival. Shmi seemed to understand this and nodded, giving silent permission for him to leave her. "I'll be right there," Qui-Gon told the pilot.


	11. Part 11

Part 11

Qui-Gon leaned against the wall, watching as Shmi glided about the reception hall on the arm of her escort--a member of Amidala's royal council. He was having difficulty listening to the council member beside him, as he could not keep his mind off Shmi. He had hardly seen her since they arrived on the planet the day before. As soon as they were settled in the palace, they'd been informed that Queen Amidala wished to give them a formal welcome. For the occasion of this reception, Shmi had been ushered from his side to meet with the queen's  
dressmaker. The dressmaker had kept Shmi cloistered all that first day for a series of fittings and alterations. This process was repeated for the next two days.

Still... Qui-Gon mused as he eyed her, Shmi was a vision in her new gown. It was a pale blue and made of a light, airy material that flowed around her as she moved. Her long hair hung loose, except the sides, which had been pulled back and interwoven with little white flowers. An earth angel, Qui-Gon thought as he envisioned himself reclining beside her on a bed of thick grass and picking  
each white bud from her hair...

His fantasy was interrupted when Shmi caught his eye from across the room. She was standing with her escort and the queen. Pushing himself away from the wall, he approached them, moving languidly among the crowd towards Shmi. He could feel her eyes on him with each step he took. As he neared them, however, Shmi's escort took her by the arm and moved her off into another direction, and Qui-Gon found himself standing before Queen Amidala.

The young queen eyed him closely, a mirthful expression on her face. "You seem... preoccupied, Qui-Gon Jinn." The tone in her voice left little doubt that the girl knew what occupied his thoughts. Qui-Gon smiled weakly at her. "Shmi is quite lovely in her new gown, is she not?" Amidala pushed further. Qui-Gon knew she waited for his reaction.

"Yes," he agreed, still watching the object of his desire. "She is breath-taking."

"Have you told her so?"

The question made Qui-Gon pause. "No," he admitted. "I have not been given the chance." Here he leveled a glaring look at the councilor who was escorting Shmi.

"The councilor does seem captivated by her beauty, my friend, but I assure you, Lady Skywalker has eyes for only one man." Shortly after their arrival, Amidala had bestowed upon the former slave woman an honorary title of "Lady." Hearing it cause Qui-Gon to smile more warmly.

"Would it trouble your Highness if I should spirit Shmi away for the purpose of telling her how lovely she looks?" Qui-Gon inquired. Amidala met his now sparkling eyes, and she smiled in turn.

"It would trouble me if you did not," she said, mostly to his robed back as he strode off after Shmi.

******

"Isn't it a beautiful night?" Shmi inquired as she stood with Qui-Gon on a parapet over looking the city of Theed. "The city is magnificent--beyond anything I could ever have imagined in all my life as a slave."

Qui-Gon chuckled. "Anakin had much the same reaction to Coruscant when he first saw it." He reached for her, placing his hands on her shoulders, running his fingers over her smooth skin. She turned to face him and was suddenly in his arms.

"You did not bring me out here to speak of Ani," she told him matter-of-factly.

"No, I did not," came Qui-Gon's reply. He drew her closer to him, tilting her face upwards to his. "I wanted to tell you... to let you know..." Shmi was staring up at him expectantly, her eyes sparkling and her face flushed with  
desire. It was a mind-shattering vision.

"Yes?" she nearly purred at him, pressing her body into his.

"I love you, Shmi," Qui-Gon said just before his lips crushed against hers. This had not been what he'd intended to say, but in retrospect, Qui-Gon could not deny it. He was in love with her. By the time the kiss ended, he knew what his heart desired--for Shmi to be his for all times, their hearts and souls bonded together... 

"Shmi, I..." he began. His words were cut off by the sound of a throat clearing behind them. They both turned to find the councilor who had been escorting Shmi standing in the entry way. "Your pardon, Master Jinn," he said in gracious tones. Behind the words, Qui-Gon could sense his jealousy and more... a smugness that the message he bore would allow this interlude to go no further. "But we  
have received a transmission from Coruscant. It seems the Jedi Council wishes to speak to you."

"Of course," Qui-Gon replied, his arms dropping away from Shmi's body. He did not want to leave her--not now--and certainly not with this man. Instead he wanted nothing better than to spirit her away with him and announce to the world that this was the woman he loved. 

******

"The boy has no idea that you have brought his mother with you," Mace Windu told Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon watched the holographic image of his friend, listening intently. "And Obi-Wan?" he asked.

Mace nodded. "Your former apprentice was informed of your mission, but has also been sworn to secrecy." 

"As it should be," replied Qui-Gon. In his mind, he could see the look of sheer joy on Anakin's face when he was once again united with his mother. Behind Mace, he could hear murmurings of approval. It seemed that the Council agreed with him.

The image before him shifted, and Qui-Gon found himself staring at Ki-Adi-Mundi. "My Master?" Qui-Gon addressed him. Well remembered was the day that Mace and Master Yoda told him that virtually no one on the Jedi Council trusted his recovery. This mistrust and hesitance on the part of the Council still hurt him, although Qui-Gon knew he had more than proven it false.

"How do you feel, Qui-Gon Jinn?" The question was a simple one, spoken gently, and yet it was also one a the greatest importance.

How did he feel? Qui-Gon closed his eyes, searching within himself--within the Force--for several minutes. The peace which permeated his soul had not been there in a very long time. In the silence which surrounded him, Qui-Gon reveled in this peace. At last he opened his eyes, ready to face the Council. "Whole," was his answer. "For the first time in over a year," He was careful not to  
mention the events which led to his near-death. "I feel completely whole... completely myself." 

With his answer, Qui-Gon found himself facing other members of the Council. More questions were fired at him. How did he overcome the nightmares? Had his ability to channel the Force been altered or weakened? How had he conquered his fears? Qui-Gon countered each question as best he could, fully knowing that the Council would test him more extensively when he returned to Coruscant. Finally, the barrage of inquiries came to an end. The Council was satisfied and Qui-Gon was being dismissed. Before he could end the transmission, however, Yoda spoke up. Again the image shifted and Yoda appeared before him.

"On your mind something is," Qui-Gon was told. 

"Yes, my master," he replied.

"Something to tell us have you. Something to ask of us."

Sometimes Yoda knew too much, Qui-Gon thought ruefully. "Yes, my master," he said again.

"Going to tell us are you? Or guess we shall have to... hmmmm?" Yoda  
asked, sounding slightly impatient. 

Qui-Gon sighed. He'd hoped to ask Shmi first, and then go to the Council, but he knew there was no avoiding Master Yoda's question now. "I apologize, Master Yoda. The subject is... a bit delicate, and I was not sure where to begin. Shmi and I...."

"Wish to wed with her you do," Yoda supplied when Qui-Gon's voice faltered.

"Y-yes, my master," came the astounded reply.

"Ask her you should. Our permission you have."

******

Qui-Gon returned to the reception hall, but he did not seek out Shmi right away. He had a great deal on his mind. The Jedi Council had informed him that Obi-Wan and Anakin would be arriving soon. Qui-Gon was glad of that. Anakin loved his mother dearly and had been hesitant to leave her. In his mind, he could see them  
standing before their lowly hovel--Anakin ready to give up his newly won freedom should his mother ask him not to go. And his mother... bravely, selflessly letting her only son leave slavery--leave her--to seek out his dreams. 

Sighing, Qui-Gon cast his eyes upon Shmi. She was being led onto the dance floor by her appointed escort. She seemed uncomfortable, and Qui-Gon could only suppose that Shmi did not know the dance. How could she--she who had been a slave all her life? No amount fancy dresses or pampering would ever change that  
fact. This was something Qui-Gon had been made painfully aware of not long after their arrival. He'd gone to see her, hoping she might take lunch with him, and found himself bearing witness to a private conversation between Shmi and Amidala... 

***a few days earlier***

Shmi Skywalker fingered the fabric which would soon make up her new wardrobe delicately. The queen's dressmaker had brought a variety of samples, all of which seemed too rich and lavish to the former slave. She'd politely mentioned that plain cottons would more than suffice, but Queen Amidala claimed she would not hear of her most honored guest and Anakin's mother going without a few simple luxuries. To Shmi, it seemed as if the young queen was going to far too much trouble to accommodate a slave.

Fingers still gliding over the soft material, Shmi turned her eyes upwards to meet those of the young queen. "I... I was very surprised when Qui-Gon told me that the girl who had come with him to Tatooine was in reality a queen. Never in my life did I ever think to meet royalty," she said. 

Amidala's smile was tentative, yet warm. "And never in my life did I expect to meet two people such as your and your son. Your kindness and generosity--even when you had little to give--was very touching."

"Still," Shmi said, gesturing to the room around them. "It's so... so much... more than I deserve... more than I am..."

"Used to?" Amidala finished for her. The young queen looked thoughtfully at the former slave before her. "I can't begin to imagine what you must be feeling, Shmi. This must all be so overwhelming for you."

"It is," Shmi admitted. "There has been so much... so many opportunities... placed before me now that I don't quite know where to begin."

"Have you given thought to where you might live?" When Shmi shook her head in the negative, the girl smiled. "You're more than welcome to stay here with us."

"I... I couldn't... impose on your generosity," Shmi began.

"Yes, you could!" Amidala replied. "There is more than enough room here in the palace and if that is not to your liking, I would commission a home be found for you."

Shmi lowered her eyes modestly. "In truth," she said, "I miss Anakin, and wish to be close to him if I can."

Amidala touched her hand kindly. "I miss him, too," she told the boy's mother. "But Coruscant... It's all city... buildings and rules. That's no place to start a new life, I would think. Not to mention that Anakin will most likely be too busy with his Jedi training to spend much time with you. Besides... if you were to stay here, it would give him more reason to visit." There was a slight blush to the queen's cheeks.

"Naturally," Shmi replied with a warm smile. Then she heaved a heavy sigh. "I will think on all you have said. I have so much to consider..."

***end the eavesdrop***

Qui-Gon sighed deeply, watching as the councilor attempted to teach Shmi the dance. It pained him to see her with anyone other than himself, but Qui-Gon did not intrude. He was trying to decide the best way to broach the subject of marriage to her. Would she want it though? She loved him, of that Qui-Gon was sure, but was she ready for the commitment? Perhaps he should wait... give Shmi time to adjust to her new life?

Deciding to meditate on it, Qui-Gon crossed the room to where Shmi was still locked in the councilor's arms. "May I cut in?" he inquired, offering his arm to the woman of his dreams. Later, he told himself, as he pulled her to him and began the dance. 


	12. Part 12

Part 12

Qui-Gon had spent all the next morning meditating, trying to decide what to do about Shmi. He knew what Master Yoda had said he should do, and by virtue of association, the rest of the Council. They'd given their blessing to a marriage between himself and the former slave. But for some reason, Qui-Gon still felt uncertain, and so he throw himself into his meditations, hoping the Force would lead him to an answer.

::What answer are you looking for?:: a voice asked, startling him because he thought he was alone. Qui-Gon opened his eyes, looking around, and found himself staring at the transparent image of his old friend--Branon Dol.

"Bran--" he choked out. "How?" He reached as if to touch Branon and the image before him shimmered slightly. Oddly, enough, however, Qui-Gon felt his alarm lessening.

::You asked me to be here when you finally wed; did you think I would forsake my pledge?:: the ghostly image asked him.

"No," Qui-Gon answered. "But you... you're dead."

::Not dead, Qui. I'm one with the Force now, a part of the fabric of every living thing. Even you, old friend.::

His words calmed Qui-Gon even more. He felt as if Branon had been the answer to his silent prayers. "You think I should wed her, too, then?" he asked his friend.

::I know you should; it's been fated to happen. What I think is that you need to quit acting like a scared padawan and *ask* her.::

"Is it that simple? I've already asked so much of Shmi. I took her son; I've changed her life. How can I ask more of her now?" 

::You want to wait and let the good Councilor Dené move in on her, then?::

Qui-Gon sighed heavily. The councilor had been all over Shmi last night, hovering around her and watching her every move. No doubt he'd be more than willing to supplant Qui-Gon in her heart, should the Jedi wait too long to ask her. 

::So you know why you need to ask her now?:: Branon said, interrupting his thought process. ::Don't wait on it, Qui. Follow your heart; it leads to the right path.:: With that, Branon's image faded away, leaving Qui-Gon alone with the knowledge of what he should do. 

Shaking his head ruefully, Qui-Gon exited the chamber and went in search of his beloved. 

******

Qui-Gon found Shmi in her own suite of chambers surrounded by servants and several of Amidala's handmaidens. They were fussing over her but when he entered, they rose and left swiftly.

"Qui-Gon!" Shmi exclaimed, jump up and running to him. He took her in his arms, holding her tightly. "You'll never guess the news! They say Ani is coming here!"

Qui-Gon chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Yes, I know," he told her, kissing her forehead gently as he led her out to the terrace. "This will be a pleasant surprise for him," he added, tenderly stroking her small hand.

"Yes, it will," she murmured softly. "Qui-Gon, I..." her voice was choked with emotion. "For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I'm free to be truly happy. It's a dream come true."

"I know," he whispered again, pulling her closer to him, so that her body was mostly hid in the deep fold of his robes. "For me, as well," he admitted, then paused before plunging on. "There's... there's only one thing that can make make this even more special."

Shmi looked up at him with a questioning gaze. "What is it, my love?"

Qui-Gon' heart leapt at the words on her lips, and any doubt he'd still had was swept away. He took one step away from her, clasping her hands in his own. "For a year now, I have dreamt of you as my wife. I would be honored if you would make that dream a reality." 

Shmi's mouth opened in a small "o" of surprise, which her small hands quickly fluttered upwards to hide. "Oh, Qui..." she breathed at last, but her next words words were cut short by the sound of a gong being rung throughout the palace...

...announcing the arrival of the Coruscant transport.

******

Qui-Gon was nervous as he stood between Amidala and Shmi as they awaited the Jedi to descend from their ship. Shimi had not answered him, and now he worried that Anakin's arrival would cause her to forget his proposal altogether. As the ship's hatch began to open, he glanced at her, and saw her face light up with anticaption. He heard her breathe her son's name, as if making a wish for him, and instinctively reached for her hand. At the same time, he used the Force to send her reassurance. 

Finally the door opened and the gangplank descended. Shmi clutched his hand tightly. 

"It'll be alright," he whispered hoarsely as two robed figured came into view. Both women beside him gasped then--Shmi's coming loud and strong, Amidala's stifled by propriety. He turned his eyes towards the ship in time to see Obi-Wan begin his descent from the ship, Anakin Skywalker just one step beside them. Through the Force, he could feel Anakin's uncertainty, and then felt it melt into tumultuous joy and wonder as his eyes fell upon his mother. 

The boy suddenly became very animated, pushing past his Jedi master and rushing down the narrow walkway towards the crowd below.

Qui-Gon chuckled softly. "So much for making a dignified speech," he intoned to Amidala just as Anakin reached their greeting party. 

"Mother!" the ten-year-old boy exclaimed, throwing himself in to his mother's waiting arms. Qui-Gon felt the tension surrounding the two former slaves shatter as love flowed between them. He heaved a sigh of relief, feeling certain Anakin would be all right now. He was certain of it. 

"Yes, Padawan," Obi-Wan said as he came to stand before them. "You can go and greet your mother now." He smiled down at his padawan and then at Qui-Gon.

"I'm sorry, Master," Anakin countered, starting to pull away from his mother. "I... I forgot myself."

"No, Ani," Obi-Wan chuckled. "Don't apologize. It is well and good that you greeted your mother thus; I expected no less. In fact, I'd like you to consider the rest of this mission a holiday." 

Qui-Gon watched the meaningful glances that passed between his former student and the boy. He could feel their silent communication through the Force and could tell that Obi-Wan was reassuring his young padawan before granting him freedom for a while. Inwardly, Qui-Gon beamed like a proud father. The two of them had grown closer to each other since he'd last seen them. 

"Master Kenobi," Amidala said suddenly, her clear, regal voice reminding Qui-Gon of the moment at hand. "It is an honor to see you and your padawan again." She extended a smile to them both, her eyes lingering on Ani warmly. 

"The honor is ours, Highness," Obi-wan countered, giving her a courtly bow, which Anakin promptly imitated. 

Amidala indicated to Anakin's mother. "I should like to present you the newest member of my court, Lady Skywalker." 

******

Introductions out of the way, Obi-Wan and Anakin were given chambers near Qui-Gon's and time to rest before the formal reception the Queen's council had arranged in their honor. While they rested, Qui-Gon sought out Shmi, and found her in one of the private gardens in their section of the palace. 

"May I join you?" he asked, approaching quietly and sitting beside her on the low stone bench as she smiled up at him in welcome. 

"I was hoping you would come," she whispered. Leaning into him, she rested her head on his strong shoulders. "Ani has... grown so much in the last year. I barely recognized him as my own." Qui-Gon nodded silently, allowing her to merely feel his love for her as he held her. "He... doesn't need me anymore." 

"No, Shmi... don't talk like that," Qui whispered, pressing his lips against her hair. "He needs you still. We *both* need you still."

She looked up at him, and he could see the love shining in her eyes. "I need you, too... but..."

"You want to do what's right for Anakin," he said, finishing her sentence. "So do I." He sighed deeply. "From the moment I met him, I've wanted him as my own. My padawan... my son." 

A gasp from behind them broke the tableau. Qui-Gon and Shmi sprang apart, turning in the direction of the noise. Anakin stood behind them, his face a mask of confusion. 

"Do you mean it?" he asked. "Do you really want to be my father?" 

"Yes, Ani," the older Jedi answered. "More than anything."

"Why?" The question was tinged with confusion and doubt. "No one else has ever wanted me, except as a slave."

Shmi gasped softly at the words. 

"Ani, I... " he sighed deeply. "I feel this is what was meant to be... what the Force has led me to do. From the moment I met you and your mother, I have loved you both with every fiber of my being. It is the only thing I wish for in the world--to be your father and her husband. And to love you both for the rest of my life."

Anakin's eyes darked and his face clouded over momentarily. For that brief instance, Qui-Gon felt the turmoil of doubt, confusion, and hesitation. The boy looked from Qui-Gon to his mother, and seemed to reaching out with the Force, trying to see through it into their hearts. 

"Ani," Qui-Gon said, kneeling before the child. "Do you believe me when I say love your mother?"

"No one has ever loved her except me," he said finally, honestly.

Qui-Gon nodded, understanding. "I know, and I know you've always taken care of her. Can you trust me, Ani? Can you trust me to care for her as you trusted me to come with me a year ago?" 

Anakin looked past him again to where Shmi sat on the bench, watching them. Then he met Qui-Gon's eyes. The clouds were clearing from his expression. "Can... can I call you 'father'?" he asked hesitantly. 

"Yes," Qui-Gon said with a soft chuckle. "You may call me whatever you wish."  
  
******

The marriage ceremony was held the next day, with Amidala officiating and Obi-Wan and Anakin as the witnesses. As Qui-Gon exchanged vows with his bride, he felt the Force wash over him, and with it came a sense of comfort and serenity... and something else. As Amidala led them in a closing prayer, he looked up, opening his eyes. Off to the side, near where Anakin and Obi-Wan stood with bowed heads, stood the luminescent image of Branon Dol. 

His old friend was smiling, and in Qui-Gon's mind a message formed. "May you find happiness on this path, my friend, as Rhianne and I did years ago." 

Qui-Gon knew he would. 

(The End)


End file.
